Today we received an email from the ALI (the Italian department for civil rights and immigartion) regarding Mei-Lin’s application for Italian citizenship. Please take a seat and enjoy the show.
The email says something on the lines of:
Dear Mei-Lin Feng, there is an important communication for you in the ALI system, please log in with your credential to visualize it.
Uff, because it would have been too much hurdle to just write the text of this communication in the emai, right? Security, privacy, GDPR etc I guess? Bah, whatever.
So I try to access the ALI system. It is SLOW because, you guessed it, the website is probably hosted in the infamous central Italian government datacenter in Molise.
The default login method for logging in to the ALI is with the “SPID“, which is the Italian digital identity system used to authenticate citizens to online services of the public administration. There is only two problems with it:
- Mei-Lin is not “citizen” yet, and
- Even if she were, SPID adoption is “patchy” at best. For example, I don’t have an SPID access, I don’t even know how it works.
The alternative method is “log in with the CIE (italian electronic ID)”. To be honest, I’m not even sure why this should be a separate system from SPID. Italy is infamous for wasting taxpayer money on multiple concurrent, competing, failing projects. For the records, I don’t even have a CIE either!
Luckily there is another method: “Log in to ALI without SPID/CIE”, which is the one which we used last time to submit the application. It just uses username and password. So I try that.
The page loads forever. After a geological era, it shows me the prompt:
Your password is expired. It is suggested to reset it.
This is like when the mob “suggests” you to pay for “protection”. THERE IS NO WAY TO PROCEED WITHOUT RESETTING THE PASSWORD SO I WOULDN’T REALLY CALL IT “SUGGESTION”, WOULD YOU?
OK, so I press the “Reset” button.
An email with the reset link has been sent to your registered email address.
I wait for the email. SLOW. I click on the link. SLOW.
Insert the new password. The password must be at least 14 characters long, and include lowercase and uppercase letters, numbers, special characters, viking runes, Linear A glyphs, and should rhyme when spelled backwards.
I type the new password. I re-type it in the confirmation field. I solve the very basic but mildly annoying CAPTCHA. I press Enter.
Password incorrect. Remember, the password must be at least 14 characters long, etc etc. If your system does not have the Linear A character set installed, you can alternatively use UTF-8 encoded emojis used in the official North Korean instant messaging app.
WHAT THE F***ING HELL, WHY IT DOESN’T WORK?
I repeat the procedure again. Nothing. After 10 minutes of trying, the password reset link expires, and I have to start all over again.
Finally I found the problem: apparently, pressing the Enter key after filling in password and CAPTCHA does NOT result in the fields being submitted, but rather the whole page to reload, because the “RESET” button (in a PASSWORD RESET form) not only is CONFUSINGLY behaving this way, but it’s also the one selected by default. One should rather manually click the “SUBMIT” button.
AYFKM. THIS WEBSITE MUST HAVE BEEN MADE BY THE HANNIBAL LECTER OF GUI DESIGN.
Anyway, FINALLY we manage to access Mei-Lin’s ALI and read the communication. It is a summoning to the Asylum in December for the Oath.
UN-BE-LIE-VA-BLE!
We were told this would take at least two years! It took less than one year!
So, the official communication says that blahblah, the application has been accepted and italian citizenship has been granted, now it must be finalized with the official oath, to be done at the Asylum on date and time blahblah.
This is GREAT NEWS!
The not-so-great news is that, in order for the oath to take place, we must bring on that date also the following:
- NEW Swiss criminal record certificate, in Italian, with apostille (I guess to make sure that Mei-Lin didn’t commit NEW crimes since we presented the application. Luckily it’s only the Swiss one this time).
- NEW copy of the “atto integrale” wedding certificate, emitted by the Comune of Spelunca in Italy (I guess to make sure that we didn’t divorce in the meantime).
- AIRE enrollment form (the wording is a bit ambiguous, it “might” be optional).
- RECENT Swiss residence certificate, both for Mei-Lin and myself.
- Our passports.
So, other work for us, but it looks like we might be close to the end of the tunnel! Stay tuned!
Are You Fucking Kidding Me 